How to distract the child from the tablet?
Hi, my name is Ala Badanina, in the recent past I’m the chief editor of Cosmopolitan, and now I’m a mother of two children. Irisha is soon 11 years old, and she is actively entering the phase of puberty. Kostya is 11 months old and he just walks actively. I would like to discuss these two and a couple of dozen children of my acquaintances every week.
In the clinic
For a thousand years I have not been to our district clinic, but after another trip, Kostya, as it were, to put it mildly, went wrong with digestion. And early in the morning we went to the doctor for the results of the tests. In line, we had to defend (and someone to crawl and run back) two and a half hours. Perhaps I will omit all the details associated with unwashed gray walls, disgusting toilets and everything else. More shocked me another. Nine out of ten children waiting in line near the doctor’s office were addicted to phones and tablets.
More than others, my one-year-old Kostyanchik did not like this situation. How so! So many interesting and small people gathered in one place, and no one communicates with him! Two girls of 7-8 years old circled quite a bit in the center, even said “ooo-oo-oo” to my son, then they took “selfies” and buried themselves in the phones. Kostya clung to my leg for about 10 minutes, and then, emboldened, he began to pace back and forth along the corridor, examining everyone around. At some point, he pulled me to a pretty chubby boy, I gaped for a second, and my son already patted his short-haired head. (Kostya generally likes all kinds of spiky surfaces - a rubber hedgehog, daddy's bristles). I apologized to the boy, his mother was sitting nearby, but did not pay attention to us - I was fascinated by the conversation with a friend.
- What's your name?
- Scrap! - Not looking up from the tablet shouted chubby.
- Great! What are you playing?
- At the Englibeds! - Romik answered just as fervently.
I looked at the mother of our new friend, she was still passionate about the conversation, and just in case, added:
- Well, we’ll go with Kostya to look out the window, if you want, come to us.
And we drowned.
Ten minutes later, Romik pulled me behind my trouser leg and, pointing at the tablet screen, said:
- You’re burning, but I feel sorry for ...
We talked with him about the hard fate of the pigs from the game Angry Birds, that he does not like kindergarten and Vova, which prevents him from sleeping there. But he loves mom and grandmother, they do not interfere with sleep and buy sweets for him. I do not want to offend anyone, but the mother of our new cheerful acquaintance continued to talk with her friend.
Tips for Lazy Parents
In the country
Some time ago, my husband and I came up with a new word - "childless children", these are children who can entertain themselves at home or away, show a keen interest in nature, in books, in people. They do not rush home from school or from the garden to quickly play another toy on the gadget, do not take tablets and phones with them on trips, they are, in general, independent.
Last summer, at a friend’s summer house, we just watched such children. Two boys, 9 and 11 years old, had a great time together with Irisha: they dug up some clay near the site, made dishes and people from it and burned their crafts right there, on the grill. Then they played board (or rather, ground-based games in that situation), Monopoly and Twister, fooling around, lying on the grass, throwing wreaths of dandelions, tweaking if one of them said the forbidden word “damn” . And now, interestingly, not one of the children, including my daughter, uttered another word, “tablet” or “phone” for the whole day.
They had fun in nature. They were interested in each other. We did not bother them, the children were left to their own devices, and this certainly pleased them. But there is one more thing. The more I watch these “planetless children”, the more clearly I understand: all such children ... LAZY parents. And now I’m not even talking about me and my husband, or rather not about both of us.
And at home
I constantly joke that a husband with children is more interesting than with adults, then at a picnic with friends he was the one who organized our children, made friends with them, and directed them. He really is not lazy to play with children, and he really is high.
I am not like that. I sometimes enjoy communicating with 10-year-old Irisha, but I repent, I play with her quite rarely. And I also had moments when I gave her a tablet so that, for example, she did not interfere with my work or going on a trip, or stopped asking a bunch of questions for a while. From this, it seems to me, everything begins.
What to do to more lazy (busy) parents?
Well, firstly, still push yourself. Find the same time and energy for non-computer games, come up with new ones, remember the activities that fascinated you as a child, whether it be embroidery or a designer.
Secondly, offer something else. Often a child, especially a very small one, lacks options. He takes what his parents give him, in every sense. When there is absolutely no time or energy for a conversation, it is better to offer him a book (with pictures, if not already reading), coloring books, something for creativity, and not a tablet. Books develop creativity in children, make them draw images in their heads, invent, fantasize. While games on the computer and other things give these images at once, the child, simply speaking, is dumb, does not develop. For me, this is the most important argument.
Say, a “tablet” child then in the country most likely would throw clay, and the children of our friends, obviously enthusiastic and creative from childhood, began to sculpt from it.
Third, set the right example. But do not lie. That is, do not hide with the tablet in the bathroom or play on it at night.
Fourth, take a walk. On the street it’s somehow more inconvenient to sit staring at your phone or tablet, agree. On the street, problems are also possible, but they most likely will no longer be associated with the tablet.
Fifth, look for the pros. And still I will say a few words in defense of gadgets. It seems to me that in no case should they be completely removed from the life of a child. Correct, developing programs and games are also there. Plus, on the same street, at school and elsewhere, your child needs to communicate with other children, somewhere he can offer a topic (and let it be Lewis Carroll’s book), but somewhere you need to support a conversation that has already begun, to laugh at “ Talking cat
Well, my favorite: talk-talk-talk. At least about the Englibeds.
And yes, live chatting is MUCH more interesting for kids. Perhaps this is the main thing that we should remember :)
Tell us how your family interacts with each other and with gadgets. Are there any prohibitions or some good habits distracting from tablets?